Heading in to the unknown

This week I had the opportunity to speak to students of Class IX at the Rasbihari International School in Nashik, thanks to an invitation from Mrs. Suchitra Sarda. I was pleasantly surprised to see a class of 80 students sitting quietly ready to listen to what I had to say. There were a few giggles during the time I was talking but nothing like the mischievous Class IX that I remember myself in! I had been given the freedom to choose what I wanted to talk about and here’s what I had to say:

Last October, I entered the fourth year of my PhD studies. At this point, I became the senior most student in our lab. A student who just started her PhD at that time asked me an interesting question – What would you have done differently had your PhD started now?

It’s a question which first took me by surprise but after a little bit of thought I realized that given the knowledge I have today I would have done so many things differently. And if that was really possible, I am very sure that I would have made fewer mistakes, developed better skills, and contributed more to my field.

When I got this excellent opportunity to speak to you and was so graciously given the freedom to choose what I wanted to talk about, I thought hard.

I wanted to talk about something that would benefit you but at the same time not bore you. You are about to enter a defining period in your life. Some of you may be unaware of what is that you want to do, whereas some of you may be unsure whether what you have decided to do later is really the right thing.

In that spirit, today I am going to tell you some stories. I hope that in these stories you will find some connection with your own lives today. There are lessons to learn from the stories themselves but also, looking back, there are things I would have done differently to make these stories better.

The first story is about friends. We all know that friends play an important role in our lives. Their importance, I feel, only increases as you get older.

Even today, whenever I need someone to talk to help me through my problems, I speak to my best friend from high school. She is someone who has known me for more than half of my life. And despite being fortunate to have a friend like her, I feel that I did not do enough to keep up with my friends from high school.

As is the tradition for those aspiring to become engineers, which is what I had decided to become after leaving school, I focused all my energies to prepare for engineering entrance exams.

The years immediately after school are the years when you are still very close to your school friends. It is also a critical period to keep those friendships alive. I did not give enough attention to this as the preparation for the exams kept me busy.

Ever since I realized this mistake, to make up for it, I’ve been the guy who organizes reunions for school friends. Yet, I feel that had I done more in the 11th and 12th, things would have been better with my high school friends.

Here’s the lesson – had I been in your place today I would have done more than I did to keep up with my high school friends. You may realise soon enough that there is nothing like revisiting old school memories. Many times you will feel you want to relive these years and the closest you can get to that is through your school friends.

The second story is about the importance of being a good communicator. All through the years since I left Nasik for higher studies, I found that it was those who could communicate best that progressed the fastest, made the best connections, formed the best first impressions… Eventually those were the people who stood out and did amazing things.

When I say communication I mean not just the ability to use a particular language flawlessly but also be able to deliver the message effectively to your audience. To be able to speak in a manner that is easily understood by your audience, to be able to write by using as few words and to be able do all this with clarity.

Two examples come to my mind whenever I think about good communication.

The first is from my initial days at the Institute of Chemical Technology in Mumbai where I did my chemical engineering. When new students come to the institute, the seniors take the initiative of interacting with them. In these ‘interactions’ we were asked to do a plethora of things. Many of them involved being able to talk impromptu or being able to give lengthy answers to difficult questions.

I remember well that those new students who were able to stand up to these challenges which required you to think on your feet and express yourself clearly were those who made good impressions on the seniors. The impression mattered because being connected to seniors who had so much more knowledge than us, the new students, could help us tremendously.

In my case, it was these seniors who shaped my thinking about my career. I had started engineering studies hoping to later get an MBA and earn lots of money. My seniors showed me the possibilities in the world of science and research. They made me realise that I would enjoy it more to be a scientist who seeks answers to difficult questions than someone who seeks money.

The second example is from my initial days at Oxford University in the UK. I started there as a naive 21-year old who did not know much beyond chemistry and chemical engineering having spent four years surrounded by chemical engineers in the Institute of Chemical Technology. As is uncommon in India, at Oxford, people studied every imaginable subject under the sun. The only thing I had in common with most other students there was that I knew English and I was curious.

Much of what I did in the first few days there was to ask probing questions to students and learn as much as I could from them. There were students who studied Mongolian paintings, China Towns in Australia and the works of Borges, a French writer – things I had absolutely no clue about.

My job in these interactions was to keep the conversation going so that I could learn more. The way I did that was by trying my best to explain my PhD project in interesting ways.

Little did I know that this exercise in making my subject sound interesting would eventually lead me to start writing about chemistry for a lay audience. An ability which allowed me to meet 60 Nobel Prize winners at the world’s biggest meeting of its kind, it helped me to get an opportunity to work at the oldest and most respected scholarly society for chemistry in the world, and it also led to build connections all over the globe, much beyond what was already on offer at Oxford University.

Here’s the lesson – If I were to go back to 9th standard today, I would pay a lot more attention to developing better skills of communication. I would take all the languages that were taught to me more seriously.

But being a good communicator is a lot more about the thought process than the words. It is something we are not taught in school but something we learn eventually. If I were in school today, I would have participated in events such as elocution competitions, debates, and essay competitions. Something I did not do in school at all but I realise that when we expose ourselves to situations where we are forced to communicate, we not only develop our language skills but also refine our thinking.

The last story is about thinking hard about the big decision in life.

After I finished my 12th standard and only days before I was about to leave for Mumbai to start studying chemical engineering, I had a moment of panic. I knew engineering was going to be a lot of work. It was going to take four long years and because my dream was to become a businessman, just like my dad, I did not quite understand the relevance of studying science.

Chemical engineering seemed like a good idea to me because I liked maths and chemistry. I had given little thought to how that will help me achieve my dreams.

I asked my dad that evening, “Why am I studying engineering if I only want to become businessman later?”

The answer I got from him is the reason why I entered college more confidently than I ever would have. He said, “An engineering degree at an institute of such repute will open doors for you that you never knew existed. Being amongst intelligent people will give you a perspective to life that will help you flourish later. Studying difficult subjects and excelling at them will allow you to gain skills that you can apply to any difficult task that you may be faced with in the future.”

My Dad could not have been any more correct in the response that he gave. By the time I finished my engineering degree, my dream to go and get an MBA and earn lots of money had changed to becoming a scientist who spent many hours in the lab in pursuit of difficult answers, not in the pursuit of money. It was all the things he mentioned – the opportunities, the people and the difficult but fulfilling work – that played a role in helping make such an important decision in my life.

Here’s the lesson – I would have asked the question ‘Why?’ a lot more when I took any big decision in my life. I would have asked that question to as many people as I could till I found a satisfying answer. This habit of asking ‘Why?’ has been a very useful tool for me. And yet, I feel I did not ask that question enough number times for the big decisions in life.

If you take nothing else from these stories today, just remember that friends are many more times valuable than you think, being able to communicate well is a necessity to succeed and asking difficult questions at the time of taking big decisions in life will help you tremendously.

Thank you for listening and wish you success in your your future endeavours.

Indian Family: a weird social contract

We are born into a family. We don’t have a choice. We’ll remain associated with it till our dying day whether we like it or not. We can either accept the quirks of its members and enjoy them or fight against them and live an unhappy existence.

I don’t know very much about non-Indian families and I won’t pretend to either. This post is about Indian families. And even if I talk only about Indian families, I have to respect the fact that what I am about to say is not going to be applicable to many of them. For within India itself, families with different religious, cultural, social, and geographical backgrounds can be as different as a pear is from a pineapple.

Despite their differences there are some features that are common to most of these diverse families. Firstly there are those common characters which I am going to boldly attempt to list:

  1. A loving grandma
  2. A kick-ass grandpa
  3. A successful cousin (not so good looking, mostly male)
  4. A good looking cousin (not so successful, mostly female)
  5. A tell-everyone aunty (gossip queen)
  6. A fashion conscious aunty
  7. A smart uncle
  8. A know-it-all uncle….

Of course, then there are some special characters (like the comedy uncle, the stupid cousin, the hot aunty, etc.) which make the whole experience with the other common characters completely unique (or completely weird).

Secondly, there is an untold rule that Indian families tend to follow – respect the elders. The hierarchy is set by age. Experience is the best teacher. Period. You do what you are told and the opportunities to question big decisions are rare. If someone starts selling a T-shirt which says on the front, ‘Listen to me, because…’ and on the back ‘I’m older than you’, I bet it’ll become a best seller among the adult population in India.

Thirdly, priority is given to the family. Whether it is for choosing which event to attend (a friend’s wedding < a cousin’s wedding) or it is for choosing an employee for the business (an MBA grad < a cousin without a degree). I am not sure this formula works that well but I don’t have an alternative model to look at and wonder about how things could be if family wasn’t a priority.

The funny thing is that you are bound by a social contract that you did not have a choice to decline, modify or destroy. It’s just there and it’s as weird as the name pomegranate.

Things in my family are as weird as any. Most of my Mum’s family is in Maharashtra, heavily concentrated in Nashik. They tend to be on the conservative side of things. The one question I tend to get asked the most when I visit them is ‘How much do you earn?’. Somehow the possibility that I could still be a student at the age of 24 does not cross their minds. Most of my cousins from Mum’s side by this age are either employed in their own family business and/or maybe about to have a kid.

My Dad’s family is originally from Jodhpur in Rajasthan. There are some of the members of the family still there but so many of them have moved to every imaginable (mostly English-speaking) corners of the world. They tend to be on the progressive side of things and the one question I tend to get asked the most when I visit them is ‘What are you doing next?’. I think if I said that I am moving to Australia that would be considered the most appropriate answer.

Right. Forgive the exaggerations in the previous paragraphs. This social contract that you sign by the fact of being born in a family is weird but also special. The experience of being at home is defined by a family and it is one of the most satisfying experiences anyone can ever have. You don’t have to worry about too many formalities, you can be yourself. The years that have gone by only tend to give you more fun memories to talk about. Things can be so good sometimes that family members can sometimes be better than your best friends.

OK, you got me. I miss my family and so I had to write something to keep me happy. Hope you enjoyed it anyway…

It’s ok if the Spirit dies

The very first issue: October 2006

As a student in the third-year of my undergraduate degree, with a few friends, we brought to our Institute a bi-monthly newsletter called The Spirit. It was an attempt to give a platform to the students to voice their opinions, explore their interests, develop good writing and editing skills but most of all it was an attempt to have fun doing something interesting. If the newsletter were still in print it would have been in its sixth year of publication. But like everything that is born, it will die…

While I worked on the newsletter, we spent many many hours putting little things in place. There used to be some special kind of energy that I derived from working on it. Not just while I was there but even after having left the Institute. Believe it or not, I followed up on the progress of the newsletter till last year, its fifth year. Whenever I had a chance, I used to speak to the team working on it. Of course, all the work was done by the particular team but it gave me tremendous pleasure that our baby was still being looked after and I was always ready to do what I could to help them in some way. But the signs of it’s ‘death’ were visible.

Things had started to change as soon as I had left. The teams that came did not seem as motivated as the teams I had the pleasure to work with. They had new ideas which was great but implementation of those great ideas, more often than not, did not happen. The co-ordination amongst the teams fell quite rapidly and it was not hard to see why the number of issues being printed kept falling till finally in its fifth year the students decided to make it an online-only publication.

One of the reasons that I was very keen to keep it going was because we had made a promise that we will ensure that it will go on. We weren’t allowed by our faculty members to start a newsletter until we had thought of how we would be able to sustain students’ efforts to keep it going in the future. We were also told that we had to find our own money to get it printed. For the first two years, we managed alright. It was hard work but the enthusiasm of the team and the response we got from the readers made the effort worthwhile.

I don’t know what went wrong. I wasn’t there to watch what happened. Sure I spoke to people but there wasn’t a clear reason. Money was a concern but it wasn’t a big enough worry because one way (Institute’s backing) or the other (contributions from alumni) it could be tackled. The lack of motivation might have been the biggest reason. Looking back I think our team was so motivated because we had made public commitments and also because we were the guys who started it. The responsibility combined with the thrill allowed to us to go that extra-mile.

Amongst the other reasons, of course, could be what has been one of the most difficult questions that the print media faces today. People spend more and more time reading online than in print. (I probably pick up a newspaper once in a month!) When we started the Spirit, it was the time when internet was becoming cheap enough to afford a personal connection in your own room in the hostel. I imagine that now everyone has their own in the Institute. Of course, the move to making it an online-only publication should have worked then, no? But it hasn’t. Or so it seems.

Moreover, the Spirit unlike Manzar or Sportsaga (both inter-collegiate events of ICT which I believe are still going strong) was not a one-off ‘event’. So a team of ten people had to work round the year to sustain the newsletter as opposed to a team of fifty or more people who worked for a few months to make the events happen (I am not trying to undermine the work put in to make the events happen but merely commenting on the sustained efforts needed for the newsletter).

I suppose once the team that had started these things had left, the main motivation for students to keep doing anything would be the value they get out of doing it. Value in learning new skills, in having fun while doing it, in making new relationships and, of course, adding to the CV fancy titles that come with doing these things. In that respect, all these activities taught people how to manage people and relationships, how to market/sell what you are doing, how to be responsible for your actions, etc. But one unique advantage of working on the Spirit as opposed to other activities was that the students would develop the critical skill of writing and editing.

Many of those at this esteemed Institute will one day be leaders in their own fields and one way or the other will have to learn how to communicate effectively using written words. In my opinion, the sooner that skill is developed the better it is. But may be that isn’t a priority for the students in the Institute anymore.

You may be wondering where am I going with this. Well, I brought up this issue today because of two reasons. First, I wanted to put down in words my experience of working on the Spirit so that if by chance in the future someone decides to bring it back to life (even under a different name) there will be something that they can read about and may be do it better than we did.

Second, I am now ready to close this chapter of my life and wanted to do it justice by giving it the respect that it deserved. The Spirit meant a lot to me (as it must to the teams that worked on it), I learnt a lot of time on it during those days. Whatever little writing that I do today, I know that the Spirit played a key role in making that happen. As such, I feel a little hurt that I am closing the chapter much sooner than I wanted to. In our days while working on an issue of the Spirit, we used to talk about coming back to the 10th anniversary celebrations of our graduation and still finding copies of the Spirit. I don’t think that will happen but I hope I am proved wrong.

***

Don’t believe a word I say. See for yourself what people had to say about The Spirit:

M Sriram: Hope you and your team are able to come up with the second issue rising to the higher expectations which your first issue has triggered.

Raghavendra Ravi: I saw “The Spirit” It is very nice.. UDCT has changed a lot. In our times ( sorry to sound old – 1975-78 ) such thing were not easy. Though the notice board journalism was on.

Prashant Mullick: Surprisingly fresh! It was interesting that H(B)ollywood figured in a substantial number of stories. Overall a nostalgic eclectic mix of UICT news and social topics. I enjoyed it. Hope to see you guys continue putting this together.

Smita Lele: UD – UG = Body – Spirit!!!!

In other words UG’s are the fire, the electricity in the UD environment
and the knowledge pool created by PGs and research will loose its charm
without bright UGs who are the star personalities at this young age.
Let me share a secret of UD’s research story — why most of the UD
teachers want to combine teaching and research and do not want to be only
full time researcher in any National or International Research lab? The Undergraduate teaching charges the battery of the researcher’s mind
and intellect and keeps him (her) young at heart!

That is why I feel, UD – UG = Body – Spirit!!!! Best wishes to “spirit”.

Asmita Atre: The issue 3 has come up really well. The presentation is very attractive and I am certain that you people will continue working the same way.

Anil Nair (the guy who motivated us to start this newsletter): More than anything, it is your verve and the enthusiasm which brought Spirit to such levels. As in case of any magazine the passion tells the story. I don’t know if it is inappropriate to tell this — the first day when Akshat sat with me through the night skipping a date with his girl-friend to design Spirit, I knew where the magazine will reach. Most often, when I got the magazine I read it cover to cover. Everyone’s contribution was excellent. I am not surprised by all the accolades for Spirit. At the risk of sounding patronising I should add that the new team should keep the good thing going. Also, all of you should try to touch base with your friends in the pretext of Spirit. Friendship is more important than anything.